Thou shalt not be a cheapskate.

It is considered poor taste for a person shopping for a tailgate to mention the word budget. If a budget must be followed, do so in a reticent manner. Even if one is on a strict budget, however, it is acceptable to buy expensive brands of labeled alcoholic beverages because, after all, these are for friends that deserve the best.

Thou shalt not diet.

Diets are to be forgotten on game day. Green pasta, guacamole and pistachio ice cream are considered greens by real tailgaters for the sake of a diet.

Thou shalt have plenty.

Never run out of food or drink. It is far better to have too much than too little. Besides, think of all those great leftovers.

Thou shalt not arrive at the last minute.

Never rush. Always arrive early. You are, however, permitted to rush your spouse and family if they are preventing you from being early.

Thou shalt always park in the same place.

- where security is either lax, or discreet.

Thy tailgate party shall only have one chef.

The chef is right. Always right! If you question the chef you question the almighty. The chef doesn't eat, drink, he tastes. All chef decisions are final, unless he changes his mind.

Thou shalt not talk politics.

Politics are to be avoided at a tailgate party. If a guest insists on talking politics, animal rights or gun control, you are permitted to demonstrate a reason for gun control.

Thou shalt not resist progress.

It is the duty of all tailgaters to constantly upgrade and improve their tailgate parties. If there are new gadgets to be bought or made, tailgaters must buy or make them.

Thou shalt not make others tailgate.

Since some guests to a tailgate party are not as excited about tailgating as you are, they must be allowed to stay in your vehicle during blizzards or rainstorms. Do not, however, deliver food to them. Make them come outside to get it.

Thou shalt not depart the parking lot until traffic clears.

It is much better to tailgate for an hour or two than to sit in traffic with idiots. Relax and enjoy the sunset.

 

From the Coleman Products Catalog for Tailgating.