Thou shalt not be
It is considered poor taste
for a person shopping for a tailgate to mention the word budget. If a budget must
be followed, do so in a reticent manner. Even if one is on a strict budget, however,
it is acceptable to buy expensive brands of labeled alcoholic beverages because,
after all, these are for friends that deserve the best.
Thou shalt not diet.
Diets are to be forgotten
on game day. Green pasta, guacamole and pistachio ice cream are considered greens
by real tailgaters for the sake of a diet.
Thou shalt have plenty.
Never run out of food or
drink. It is far better to have too much than too little. Besides, think of all
those great leftovers.
Thou shalt not arrive
at the last minute.
Never rush. Always arrive
early. You are, however, permitted to rush your spouse and family if they are
preventing you from being early.
Thou shalt always
park in the same place.
- where security is either
lax, or discreet.
Thy tailgate party
shall only have one chef.
The chef is right. Always
right! If you question the chef you question the almighty. The chef doesn't eat,
drink, he tastes. All chef decisions are final, unless he changes his mind.
Thou shalt not talk
Politics are to be avoided
at a tailgate party. If a guest insists on talking politics, animal rights or
gun control, you are permitted to demonstrate a reason for gun control.
Thou shalt not resist
It is the duty of all tailgaters
to constantly upgrade and improve their tailgate parties. If there are new gadgets
to be bought or made, tailgaters must buy or make them.
Thou shalt not make
Since some guests to a tailgate
party are not as excited about tailgating as you are, they must be allowed to
stay in your vehicle during blizzards or rainstorms. Do not, however, deliver
food to them. Make them come outside to get it.
Thou shalt not depart
the parking lot until traffic clears.
It is much better to tailgate
for an hour or two than to sit in traffic with idiots. Relax and enjoy the sunset.
From the Coleman Products
Catalog for Tailgating.
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